Time's a flyin'!

I can not believe how fast this last year has gone by! I feel like I just had Haddie, yet here I am planning her first birthday party, and getting ready to do her cake smash pictures this weekend. It's so crazy to me! But I'm so excited for it!  She's been trying really hard to walk. She will take 3 or 4 steps,  but then just lunges forward and gives me a heart attack. Haha! I'm not ready for her to grow up! 
We just signed Aubry up for t ball. When she was a baby all these things seemed so far away. School. Sports. Independence.  Now it's all here and it went by in a flash! She is turning into her very own little person and she makes us so proud every day. She also challenges us every day, but I think that's just part of parenthood. ;)
We had both of the girl's hips checked out last week and they both look great! Aubry will go back in a year and if they are still looking good, she doesn't have to go any more! There was a time when I thought she would be in a brace forever. Going through all of that was so hard. I know people deal with much more challenging things with their babies, but I don't think that makes it any less scary when something is wrong with yours. I was so terrified of Haddie having the same thing, and it not being found until now,  and that she would have to have surgery instead of a brace. I mean, I was shaking and sweating while we were waiting for the doctor to come in after the xray. But he said he thinks it's just ligaments making the popping noise. We will go back in 3 months just to double check. Talk about a relief!

I am doing the Pat's Run at the end of next month with Richard's mom and sister. His mom talked me into it while they were here on Thursday. I haven't been running at all lately, and it's 4.2 miles, so I better get my booty in gear!! They'll be leaving me in the dust! ;) It gives me a good motivation to get back in the habit of running, so I won't complain. Plus it gives me a reason to see my nephews, brother and sis in law again! We finally got to meet Bryson when we took the girls for their appointments. I couldn't believe how big he was. Or how big the other boys are!! We hadn't seen them in almost a year! We used to see them every 3-4 months when Aubry was in her brace and then every 6 months when she got out of it. So crazy it had been so long. It was great to see them! 
Now I'm just rambling. I had better go get Aubry ready for school! 

Let's play catch up!

Once again, I have been slacking on keeping up on this thing. Let's see if I can get back into posting once a week or so. What has happened since my last post? TONS! Aubry is in preschool. She is actually almost done for the year, and today I'm registering her for next year. It's crazy how much she is changing and turning into such a big kid. I can't believe she will be 5 this year!! She is still an amazing big sister,  even though she gets irritated with Haddie sometimes. I think that's pretty normal haha. 
Haddie is 10 months old now. It has seriously flown by!! She is getting so big, way too fast! She started crawling in December and it's been so fun ever since. She is trying really really hard to walk right now. I just want to slow down time. But since I cant, I will take way too many pictures, and create as many memories as I possibly can! 
In November we went to Montana, and I killed my first buck! Never in my life did I think I would live shooting guns and be out hunting, but let me tell you, I LOVE it!!! Richard has successfully turned me into a true redneck ;-)  He actually surprised me with a bow a little over a week ago. And I love that too. I love that we can shoot them at home in our own front yard. Or, if we go to the archery range,  the girls can get out and sit with us and we don't have to worry about ear plugs and such. 
I'm December I ran my first 5 K. That was a blast!! Me, Richard's sisters, and his mom did it together. The color run. I want to do it every year! It was SERIOUSLY a BLAST!! Aubry even said she wants to do it next year ;-)
Life is good over here. I can't complain about much. I have 2 amazing girls, and I truly have a wonderful man to spend my life with. So, there is a little catch up on our life in the last 10 months. Here's to hoping I can keep up better on here from now on! 

Haddie Christine Porter

It has been way too long since my last post to try to catch up on everything that has happened in our lives. So, I will simply write about the major things. First of all, we had a new baby girl! Haddie Christine Porter, on May 6 2013. She weighed in at 9lbs 11oz!!!BIG GIRL! She is absolutely perfect, and we could not be more happy! Aubry is seriously the BEST big sister! She is loving every minute of it! She has grown up so much in the 3 weeks we have had Haddie home. She has become so independent and she is such a good helper. It has really been pretty easy. Not half as hard as I expected, or as everyone told us it would be. Sure, I am tired. Sure, the house has been slacked on a bit. But, over all, it's not bad. Maybe we just got lucky and have great kids. All I know is I feel complete and content. Richard has been absolutely amazing! I have no clue what I would do without that man. He has helped me so much! That is probably what has made this so easy. Having such a great person to go through these things with makes all the difference. I wouldn't want to be sharing this life with anyone else. 
 The labor story is kind of interesting, so if you don't want to hear it, skip over this part :) The day after my due date(May 5th), I was induced. We got to the hospital at about 9 am. They checked me in, checked me, I was at a 2, and inserted a pill to soften my cervix. I had to lay flat for an hour, then I got to get up and walk around for a long time. I got hot and hungry, so we went back to the room, where I sat and bounced on a birthing ball. After a few hours had gone by, they hooked me back up to see what was going on with my contractions and to see if they needed to give me more medicine. The contractions started to go crazy, so they decided not to give me more medicine. We went to walk again, but I was miserable, so we went back inside and I bounced on the ball some more, and paced the room. At that point I started to get sick. They came back in and this went on for a while. I asked for some pain medicine. And it just made me feel drunk, haha! Once I got to a 5, I asked for the epidural. I just couldn't take it anymore. Once I got the epidural, I started dilating pretty fast. The doctor broke my water around maybe 9 or 10 pm and then things really sped up. They had me start pushing, around 11:30. I got sick in the middle of pushing, and me throwing up caused me to push. Well, Haddie started crowing! So, the nurse was telling me not to push, and calling the other nurse to go get the doctor. We waited for what seemed like an hour, but I'm sure was more like 5 minutes. then it was just one really big push and she was here! It went so fast! She was born at 12:22am. Which is funny, because I kept saying I didn't want a Cinco De Mayo baby, and she waited until just after midnight! She seemed tiny to me when they laid her on my belly. They nurses were all making jokes about how much they thought she was going to weigh. None of them said over 9 pounds...so when they put her on the scale they all gasped. I could NOT believe she was SO BIG!! I was terrified of that my entire pregnancy, and it happened! Haha! But, I was worried for nothing, because everything went smoothly! Aubry came the next morning to meet her, and it was amazing seeing her look at her baby sister for the very first time. I'm getting teary eyed remembering that moment. Our little family has grown, and it feels amazing! And, things have been pretty easy since we brought her home, like I said. She's doing great nursing. She is a good baby, she hardly ever cries. And, Aubry is GREAT! She really has grown and changed so much since having a baby sister. It's bitter sweet. 

  Another thing that happened to us since my last post is we lost a very dear friend. Chris Adams. He and Richard had been friends since they were kids. I wont wrote a whole lot about that, only because it is still hard. He was truly an amazing person, with a huge heart...He must have been going through some things he didn't let any of us know, because he took his own life. Richard got the call during Aubry's 3rd birthday party. He left the party to go to the hospital, and Chris had been flown to Tucson. So after the party, we went up with his sister. I can say, it was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. Sitting in that hospital room, knowing he wasn't really there anymore. Seeing my husband so heart broken. Knowing there was nothing I could do to make it hurt less for him. It was terrible. All we can do now is try to move on, and keep him in our memories. We chose Haddie's middle name after him. And we will tell her and Aubry both many stories of their Uncle Chris as they grow up. I don't think Aubry remembers him. I wish he could be around while they grow up. 
 We also went on a vacation to Pennsylvania last fall!! I hadn't seen my nephews in so long, I cried when I saw how much they had grown up! We drove all the way there, and it was quite the adventure! Aubry did great on the trip, and we had a lot of fun. Being there was awesome, and I did not want to leave! I can't wait to go back again! I wish we were closer so I could see them all more often! I will have to write a whole post about the trip later and post all of the pictures. For now I must go, because both of the girls are waking up from their afternoon naps! 

Camping

Our camping trip went really good! The drive up was beautiful, just like my dad said it would be. Seriously, I don't know how we have never gone up there when it's only 3 hours away. We left later than we planned, so we got there in the afternoon instead of late morning. The weather was so nice when we got there. I was SO HAPPY to be our of the HEAT!!! My dad took us for a ride to show us around where is property is and the lake. Once he saw the lake,Richard could not wait to go fishing the next day. He was so excited! The lake was beautiful! Shoot, everything up there was beautiful!

The second day we were there we went fishing, and got rained on. The rain was so crazy! But once it stopped, it was still so nice outside. I felt like we were in a whole different world up there. It was a great weekend. The third day, Richard actually caught some fish. While it was raining, of course. Aubry & I went back to the trailer and he toughed it out, and I went back and got him later. He caught 2 fish, and I think Aubry was more excited about it than he was. haha! 

I am very happy to say that Aubry did GREAT with her potty training while we were there! I was so worried it would get messed up, but we brought her little potty, and we took it outside during the day while she was playing, and even took it to the lake! haha. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do! :) I think she liked camping, and I know she had a blast with her grandpa. We can't wait to go back!

Day 3

First of all, Happy 4th of July to everyone! I love the 4th of July, but it seems like Richard has to work every year, so it's kind of been a bummer the last few. He is working days today, and we will watch the fire works after dinner. Much better than it being night shift!

   Today is day 3 of Aubry being in panties and I am SO excited! She has done so well! She has had a couple of accidents. Yesterday she had 1, and today she hasn't had any. Except poop...she hasn't mastered getting to the potty for that yet..but I know that is harder to get them to do, so I am okay with it. Her wearing panties for the entire day & me not cleaning up pee off the floor over & over is a HUGE step up, so I won't complain!! Friday morning we are heading up to New Mexico to my dad's property for a couple of days. It will be the first time we have gone, and Aubry's first camping trip. He has a trailer, so it's not roughing it camping, but it's still camping. I hope she does good. I'm mostly worried about her remembering to use the potty while we are there. It will be almost a week of panties when we go, so she should be good. We will bring her travel potty seat, and her little potty. I'm hoping she will just use the travel seat, but I'm bringing the little potty just in case. It seems so crazy to me that I was going nuts trying to get her to potty train, and then she just did it on her own. I shouldn't jinx myself with it, but she has never done this good, so I am hoping this is it! It's good timing too, because we aren't going to be crazy busy these days off, and she started it while Richard was still working, so we weren't going any where. So, here's to hoping it lasts! I will post again after our little camping trip, with lots of pictures, and updates on how Aubry did with going potty! :)

They will do it when they're ready

Yesterday Aubry when in the bathroom & put her baby doll on her little potty, telling me the baby was going pee. She's done this a few times, and when I try to get HER to potty, she tells me no and runs off. So, being a little frustrated with the "baby doll going potty situation", I walked away and went to start the dish washer. When I came back, Aubry was naked, standing up. She hurried to sit back down, and told me "I peed!". I didn't really think she peed, but she she stood up again I saw it. Of course, I made a huge deal out of it, but not on purpose this time...I was just SO EXCITED! For the rest of the day, she would just go in there & go on her own. I don't think she likes an audience when she's in there, which is okay with me if it means she will actually go. I only changed 2 pull ups yesterday, one when she got up in the morning, and one when she got up from her nap. I guess I should have listened to all those parents who told me kids will use the potty when they're ready. HOPEFULLY she keeps this up. Today she is in panties so far. She had one small accident about 20-30 minutes after she got up, but she only tinkled a little in her panties, stopped herself, and ran to the bathroom to finish. Which is way better than any other time she's had panties on. She usually just lets it all out if she's having an accident. She stopped herself this time. I am really, really hoping she keeps it up for the whole week! I would be SO happy!! Obviously I am ready for her to be done with diapers! I just hope she is ready, too! I will keep everyone posted!

Follow Up

I had my follow up appointment with Dr. H on Wednesday. They hadn't called with my results from my LEEP & it has been 2 weeks & 1 day, so I was a little stressed. Okay, a little stressed is an understatement. All morning on Wednesday I felt like I was going to throw up. I was so nervous. Mostly because I hadn't gotten my results, and because it seems like every time I go in there lately, or for the last few months, I get nothing but bad news. Thank goodness Richard was with me, or I would have been going even more crazy. Of course as we are waiting in the room they have the little display thing on the counter opened up to the cervical cancer one. I swear I was having a panic attack. Haha! So Dr. H comes in & says that everything looked good. So I asked what that means. He said the cells from the LEEP were consistent with the cell from the biopsy, which is good because it means they aren't any worse than they thought, and also they didn't get any worse in the time it took from getting to biopsy to doing the LEEP. He also said the margins were clear, which was the part  I was stressing about most, and that is REALLY good, because it means the bad cells don't go any deeper than what the burned off. So, I was stressing the heck out for NOTHING. Not that this whole thing isn't to be taken seriously. There is always a chance the cells could come back, but I am not even thinking of that right now. I am just thinking THANK GOD everything is looking good now. I think Richard & I were skipping back to the car like a couple of fruit loops. The first person I text when we left was my best friend. I know, I should have called my family first, but I knew she would 100% know how I feel. She is in vacation in Cali, and she still called me when she got the text. I LOVE her!! Then we went to get Aubry from Lee Ann(Richard's mom) and gave her the good news, then went to see my mom & did the same.  Then I texted everyone else to let them know. I have a very supportive family, and the greatest friends. I am happy I have them to go through this with. 


Our dog, Splinter, passed away I guess about 10 days ago. He had just stopped eating and gotten really lethargic. He was about 14 years old, so I guess it was about his time. It was really sad, because Richard was in the middle of his night shifts & we didn't have the money to take him down to the vet to be put to sleep. We tried to make him as comfortable as we could. The last day he didn't even pick his head up at all when I would go out to check on him, so then I decided to let Aubry go out and give him some love, and only then did he pop his head up & try to move around a bit. It was sad, but I am glad we got to have him with us for a couple of years.


Aubry 2 ant bites the other night & her whole foot & ankle are swollen. It's so sad! I'm thinking the big fire ants must have got her, because she's gotten bit by the small ants before & didn't have a reaction like this. We've been giving her benadryl & putting cream on the bites. And trying to keep ice on her foot, but getting a 2 year old to sit around for longer than 5 minutes is a joke! Hopefully the swelling goes down soon. I start freaking out about stuff like that because Richard is allergic to everything, and I am allergic to nothing, so I don't ever know what to expect. 

LEEP

This week hasn't exactly been wonderful. Actually, it's been pretty awful. My grandpa passed away on Sunday..and that was really hard. We all knew it was coming, but that doesn't make it easier. I've experienced loss in both ways, expecting it & not expecting it, and either way it is really hard. I guess I just thought he would live forever. But he had a great life, and I am very happy that he got to meet Aubry & Richard, and we got to see him not too long ago. He will be missed by many. The hardest thing for me is that we had just gotten back from Montana when things took a turn for the worst, so we couldn't afford to go out there to see him, or for the funeral. The funeral is today and I really wish we could be there. My mom got to go out there and say he goodbyes and be there with her mom and family, so that is good. I am very happy she got to do that.
 

 Monday we took Aubry to Phoenix for her check up for her hips. THAT is the only good thing about this week so far! Everything looked wonderful, and her hips are actually getting BETTER as she grows! With no brace or anything! So that is absolutely wonderful! With her growing so much right now we always worry that they wont grow the right way, but they are, and we couldn't be more happy! We go back in another 6 months for another x-ray. He said we will probably do every 6 months until she is about 5 or 6 years old, and then stretch it out to a year between visits. Which is fine by me, I know he knows what he is doing, and obviously things are going well, so I have no complaints about that! :)

 Yesterday was a big day for me. I had my LEEP. Everyone else I know that has had it done had it done at their doctor's office. I guess going the the doctor from my small town made things a little different. But I really like Dr H. I have been going to him for years. Well, since I was pregnant with our little princess. So that's why I decided to not go out of town to have the LEEP done. We had to be at the hospital at 11:30 am, so we dropped Aubry off with her awesome auntie Kyla & headed over there. I was cranky because I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before since I would be put to sleep. We got all checked in, and I got to put on that awesome hospital gown & that very stylish blue cap. Woo woo! HA! Then they asked me all the crazy scary questions that you don't really want to be asked right before you go into surgery for the first time in your life. Then it was a waiting game. Thank goodness I had my amazing husband there with me to keep me laughing! Have I mentioned that he is absolutely wonderful? Because he really is! After about 2 hours of waiting, it was time to go in. They came and put something in my IV & said it would calm me down & to give Richard a "see ya later kiss". So I did. I was hoping I would be out of it when they took me away from him so I wouldn't have a panic attack, but I wasn't. I guess the medicine did make my heart stop racing, but I was still really nervous. Then we get into the room & they have me move from one bed to another, and start hooking me up to all this stuff, and put an oxygen mask on me. Then one lady came over & took that & asked if I had a good dream picked out, I said I guess, then she put another mask on me & told me to take 5 deep breaths. I think I remember taking 2. Maybe 3. Next thing I knew I was waking up and in  a good amount of pain. I told them it burned (they did just burn part of my cervix, after all), and they told me "you don't feel anything". And that made me mad, so I asked them to call my husband. I was still kind of in & out at this point. But I do know they said they would call him, and they didn't until I was wide awake and asking even more impatiently. All I wanted was to hold his hand. He was there in about 2 minutes after they called. I didn't expect the pain to be so bad, but it was awful. Maybe I am just a total sissy, but it HURT! They gave me a pain pill, and sent us on our way not too long after. Then we went to get our princess, but I am not allowed to pick her up, because she weighs over 20 pounds, and that is a little hard for me. She wants me to pick her up a lot, and I just can't. :( After we got Aubry, I wanted KFC really bad, so we went there, where my AWESOME best friend met up with us! I was so happy to see her! It made the day suck a little less. :) We also went & saw my dad while we waited for my prescriptions to get filled. Aubry had a blast playing in his back yard, and it's always nice to spend a little time with him. So I guess the day ended decently well. We came home, and Richard watched my girly shows with me, and let me lay on him. I seriously do not know what I would do without that man. He is the best. He is currently grocery shopping for me! :) 

 So, yes, this week has pretty much sucked. But I am blessed with wonderful people in my life who support me & love me so much! And I am so thankful for that. I know I say that often, but it's because it is true. I had a lot of people checking on me yesterday, and of course, I had my awesome hubby by the side the entire time. Now we wait for the results from the LEEP, and pray everything comes back clear so we can move on! 

It's life.

I had my colp. done last week. It was nice to have Richard go with me, even if I knew what to expect. It's always less scary when you're not alone. While we were there I had asked the doctor some questions, and I left not knowing how to feel. I knew moderate-severe dysplasia wasn't good...but I guess part of me was hoping to go in and be told everything was perfectly fine. Even though I knew darn well that wouldn't be the case. He told me that if the biopsies came back normal he would suggest doing a cold knife cone biopsy, and I had already read about that, and it wasn't something I wanted to do. So I left the office pretty scared. 

 Well, today I went in for my results. Going alone SUCKED! But, Richard has to work, and that's life. So after what seemed like the longest wait of my life, I finally got called back to the room, and the doctor came in. The biopsies came back with high grade lesions. Pre-cancer. I had braced myself for a result like that, because I just had a feeling. But it doesn't mean my heart didn't drop when he said it. We talked about a couple of things he could do, one being the cold knife. The reason I don't want to do the cold knife is because they actually take out a piece of your cervix, and that can cause issues with future pregnancies. Richard and I still want one more child, so I don't want to risk that. I feel like if I did the cold knife, and got pregnant down the road and something went wrong, I would feel like it was my fault for getting the cold knife done when I had other options. I told the DR all of this, and he said he completely understood and that the choice was mine, he was just trying to give me a few options. We decided doing a LEEP would be best. A LEEP uses a thin, low-voltage electrified wire loop to cut out the abnormal tissue. I have been doing some research while waiting for my results, so I know about it. I also know about it because of my best friend, and of course the doctor explaining it to me today. I will be put to sleep for it, and it will be an in & out procedure. I go for it on June 12th. I'm nervous. And scared. And worried. And all sorts of things...I haven't cried yet. Which is surprising with what a cry baby I have been about all of this. I don't know if it was me prepping myself for bad news, or if it's just that fact that...well, this is life. It might not always be fair, and things may happen that suck, and there may be quite a few curve balls thrown my way, but there is no reason to let them bring me down. I don't know exactly what will happen from here on out. What I do know, is that I am blessed with an amazing little girl, and her amazing father, who I get to spend every single day with. They make my life great! I know I am blessed with an amazing family, including all of my in-laws. I am blessed with probably the worlds greatest sister! And I have wonderful, wonderful friends!! So, no, I might not know exactly what is going to happen, but I do know that I am blessed with these awesome people in my life, and that whatever gets thrown my way, they will all be right there with me. And THAT is what makes this less scary.

Not a good morning

So it has been a while since I posted anything about my girly issues. I had a pap done about a week ago, and I didn't think it would come back as anything abnormal, since my biopsies came back negative. Well, I was wrong. I got a call this morning, I guess about an hour & a half ago. Dr H wants to do another colposcopy, because my pap came back with moderate to severe dysplasia. When I think dysplasia, I think of Aubry's hips, so it took me a second to register. My best friend has talked to me about this dysplasia before...so I went straight to panic mode. Probably more than need be, but I am a girl, and sometimes that happens. Of course Richard is working today, so I couldn't just fall into his arms...which I plan on doing the moment he gets home. First thing I did was text him, of course, then my best friend to ask her some questions. She is sleeping, because she works nights. I know she will text me or call me when she wakes up though. Then I talked to my sister for a while. She calmed me down. Which she always does. Sisters are awesome!! I guess what freaks me out the most is that not even 6 months ago my biopsy came back negative, and everything was fine. So how did it go from that to this in less than 6 months? It stresses me out. And scares me. And well, yeah, that's about it. All I know is I was having a perfectly happy morning with my little princess, and that phone call sent me into full on freak out mode. I don't usually cry in front of Aubry, but I couldn't help it. Of course I got on google, which never really helps anything. I did stay away from any forums talking about it, and went straight for medical pages just simply explaining what dysplasia is and what it means could happen. Which those pages aren't much better, if you ask me, but at least you don't have to read 100 people's horror stories. I also went and read my bestie's blog. Because, like I said, she has gone through all of the scary stuff. Her blog probably helped the most, because I understand what she is saying, and it refreshes my memory of when she was going through it and talking to me about it. 
  
 I guess I just needed to ramble on here since my 2 year old doesn't really understand when I try to tell her why mommy is acting like a babbling idiot today. And I don't have any adult interaction until about 6 when Richard gets home. I did call the doctor's office back and ask them to have Dr H call me personally, so I can ask him my questions and not be freaking out all weekend. So hopefully he calls back soon. Then I can calm down a little, and wait for next week's colposcopy. Richard has already promised to go with me to this one, which makes me feel a little better. The last one I was alone. I also wasn't as scared last time, though. I will keep everyone posted!

Catching up

It has been quite a while since I made a post, and Richard is working nights, and I am waiting on my laundry to get done, so I figure I can ramble for a while. Last time I posted, Stephanie and I were doing our little diet. Well, needless to say, I have fallen off the wagon a bit. I am still watching how much sugar I have, as well as staying low carb, but I will admit I failed. She, however is awesome, and is training for a triathlon right now! I have mentioned how awesome she is, right?! :)
  
  I suppose a lot of things have happened since I made that post. Let's see...Richard and I went to NASCAR, it was a first for both of us, and it was a total blast! We were so close that when one of the wrecks happened right in front of us, I got rubber from the tires on my face and in my beer, yummy! HA! We had a good time, and got to spend some time with my big brother afterwards. Which is always a good time. My grandparents also came for a visit from Iowa. It had been over 10 years I believe since the last time they had been here,  so it was nice to have them in AZ. They stayed at my mom's, and while it was a short visit, I was glad for the time I got to spend with them. Aubry had a blast with grandpa Jack, just like when we were in Iowa. He adores her, and it makes my heart melt. 

 Then there was Easter. We colored eggs a couple nights before, and Richard's parents came up the day before Easter to give Aubry all of her goodies. Aubry loooves "pop pop", and I love watching them play together. He always has candy in the pocket in his shirt, and she knows it! Haha! Richard had to work on Easter, so we did everything later in the evening. The egg hunt and all of that. Aubry still remembered that the eggs that make noise are the good ones, filled with "nummies". She had a lot of fun finding them all and shoving chocolate and jelly beans in her mouth as fast as she could. Then she was on a sugar high. haha! We stayed outside blowing bubbles with her until it got dark. It was a wonderful day. She is absolutely amazing, and I feel extremely blessed to have my little family. We have been spending a lot of family time together on Richard's days off lately, and I love it! I feel like we are making so many wonderful memories! We have been going to the river a lot, which we all love. Richard gets to fish, Aubry gets to play, and I get to get a tan! It's a win all around. Ha! I love moments like that. Just the 3 of us having a great time together. It's perfect! <3 Aubry is getting way too big, WAAAY too fast, and I feel like I need to cherish every moment! It's crazy how time flies! You always say that, but I don't think I ever realized how true it was until we had a child.

<3

Daddy caught a turtle and Aubry did NOT like it!

She is my best friend! <3<3

Coloring eggs with daddy<3

Getting so big!

I think we're rednecks! ;)

Love her! 

Can I just have some sugar, please?

My best friend Stephanie & I are doing a no sugar, low carb diet. Her boyfriend is doing it also, but she is my person, so she is who I will talk about. :) Yes, my person. Like Grey's Anatomy. We are cool like that. While she might live 4 hours away from me, and I might not be able to see her nearly as often as I would like, we can still do things like this and support each other. She is probably doing better at this than I am, because she is better at the healthy/dieting stuff. BUT...I am giving it my all. Granted, we are only on day 2. We have been texting each other every day and keeping each other motivated. She is AWESOME! Yesterday sucked! We both felt nauseous, and were...well, bitchy. I know I was anyway. But we still pulled through. Today is a little easier, but not by much. I am a candy & carb JUNKIE! So this is really, really hard! All I want is some effing CANDY! Yes, I am that worked up about it. Yesterday we both said we felt like people going through detox. HA! How awful does that sound? We also pigged out on crap food for a few days before we started, so I'm sure that doesn't make it any easier. It is really hard, and it is a big change. But when we reach our goals we will feel amazing!! And I know I can do this not only because I want it, but because I have someone doing it with me. It would probably be easier if we lived closer and saw each other all the time. But we make due with what we have. Did I mention she is awesome?! :) At this moment there are m&m's in my fridge calling my name, along with Aubry's gummy fruit snacks in the cupboard...but I wont give in. As much as I want to! I will just text Stephanie and complain with her, and I will get through it. Here's to reaching our goals!!! 

Potty Training!

Some people (the "I know everything" parents) think it is the worst thing that Aubry is over 2 years old and is not potty trained yet. Well, those people can kiss my butt! Because every child is different, and the few times I have tried to push Aubry, it's like taking 2 steps back. So while I know I have to be the one teaching her and guiding her, I will not push her if she isn't ready. Lately, she seems very ready. I am MORE than ready! 2 years of diapers is NO FUN! Let me tell ya! But, making her feel comfortable and happy is more important than me not wanting to change dirty diapers. So, I take her in the bathroom with me almost every time I go. And sometimes she pulls down her diaper to sit on the potty, other times she doesn't. Lately, she has been pulling it down every time. the other day she went in there all on her own and told me "pee, mom!" and pulled down her diaper, and sat down. I of course was EXTREMELY excited. Well, I think most of the pee got in her diaper, but she did have a couple drops go in the potty. So of course I made a huge deal out of it and told her how proud I am. Today, I went in the bathroom to tinkle, and she followed on her own, pulled down her diaper, and sat. After a few minutes of us talking and singing(weird, maybe, but it works!) she told me "eww! stinky!" so I looked, and sure enough, there was a tiny bit of poop in there! I never thought I would be so excited to see poop! Of course, again I made a HUGE deal out of it, but this time it wasn't really on purpose...I was just SO EXCITED! She laughed at me, actually. Haha! But, I feel like we are making great progress! It probably helps that we haven't been leaving to Safford every set of Richard's 7 days off. She gets confused when we do that. So hopefully we can keep this pace going, and stay home these up coming days off and get this thing really going! 

Some things in parenthood are just flat out hard. The things on the top of that list are of course seeing your child hurt or sick. But there is also dealing with terrible two's, never getting any sleep, taking 2 minute prison showers because you are afraid of what is going on in the rest of your house while you are in there, and POTTY TRAINING! The good things for sure out weigh the bad. Knowing that you created this amazing little person who loves you more than anything, and you feel the same..actually you love them more than you ever knew you could from the moment your see their little face! Watching them grown and learn new things every day, those moments when they come up to you and hug you with all the strength their little bodies have and say " I LUUUUHHHH YOUUUUU MAMA!!!" <3, the cuddles, the kisses, the ridiculous cuteness! The moments they fall asleep in your arms, the look they give you when you pick them up from the sitter, every time they learn a new word, or repeat one you said(not always a good word, but you can't help but giggle), did I mention the kisses and cuddles? ;) And of course the moments when you are just SO proud of them! And today, is for sure, one of those days where I am just SO proud of her I could cry! It may seem silly to be so excited over poop...okay, when I say it that way, it IS pretty silly! But, I am just so proud of the progress she is making. Which might still seem silly, since potty training is something everyone has to do, but...WELCOME TO PARENTHOOD! =D

Late night rambling

Richard is working nights right now, and it's always hard for me to adjust to him being gone for the first few nights, and I end up staying up waaay too late! And of course I get online and decide to ramble on the blog for a bit. 
 We all just got over being sick, which was no fun. I should say Aubry got over being sick, because Richard & I are still feeling kind of crappy. Must be because we are getting old! ;) Aubry got sick first, and it must have been a 24 hour bug, because she was up puking all of Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning, and then all better by Thursday. Thursday is when we got it. YUCK! As long as Aubry feels better, I don't mind feeling a little crappy. Seeing her sick is the worst! 
 There really isn't anything all that interesting going on right now. Our lives are boring! Richard switched plants at work, so me & Aubry can't go see him anymore, which kind of stinks. Especially when he is on nights. I guess we were spoiled while he was at Central. It was just always nice to take Aubry to see him before she had to go to bed. She still gets to call him and tell him good night, though. <3 Hunting season over at the end of this month! THANK GOODNESS!!! Well, it's over for now, anyway..but still...THANK GOODNESS!! I am kind of bummed for him that he didn't get anything, but I am super happy I will be seeing more of my husband on his days off! We went on a date night on his last set of days off. It was nice, it had been way too long. I got a new dress right before we left for Safford, so I could wear it on our date. It was so nice & fun to get so dressed up for him! Or just in general, really. When you are a stay at home mom, you kind of lose than "getting dressed up every day" thing...half the time I don't even leave the house, so I end up looking like a bum most of the time! We had his mom watch Aubry while we went to dinner at the steak house in Safford, which was delish! Then we went to the movies and saw Contraband. It was a really good movie! It's always nice to do things alone, as much as we LOVE doing family things, it is important for us to get our alone time, too.
 My grandparents are coming out to visit next month which I am SUPER excited about! I can't wait for them to see how much Aubry has grown just since we were in Iowa. They haven't been to Arizona in a long time. It will be nice to have them here. I'm sure my mom is excited, too. We are planning a trip to go see my fantastic sister & her beautiful family in October this year, which I mentioned before. I am SO excited about that!! It has been way, way, WAAAYYYY too long since I have seen my nephews! The last time I saw them they were my little cuddle buddies, and now they are all grown up! It's so crazy to me! Time really flies. I used to go see them every summer, and then I lived there for a year after I graduated high school. Then life happened, and things changed, and now I have this amazing little family of my own! I can not wait for Aubry to meet Brandon & Seth! Of course I am excited to see EVERYONE, I just haven't seen them in the longest. Eve and Layla came out when Aubry was born, and then again for our wedding. I just can't wait to see everyone!
 Anyway, now I am seriously just rambling on & on. So off to bed I go!.....Hopefully!

Small progress

We went to Safford for a few days so that Richard could work on his truck & get it running for hunting. Yes, in case you were wondering, I am sick of hunting! Haha! Whatever makes the hubby happy, though. It would be more fun if I was going with, but we don't have anyone to watch Aubry up here, and taking a 2 year old hiking so you can bow hunt doesn't sound like much fun to me. Plus, she would scare away all the deer. :) Anyway, we stayed at Richard's parents the first night, and they are awesome! I have been trying to keep to eating healthy, which is more of a challenge when you're not at home, if you ask me. You can't exactly ask people to cook healthy just to suit your lifestyle. But Richard's mom was awesome & made healthy food anyway! :) They also have an elliptical that they let me use so I wouldn't feel like I was slacking on my work out schedule. I didn't think I would sweat so much from that thing! It was crazy. But also felt amazing. The second day I went grocery shopping with my friend Elicia. We were going to do a 2 day fruit & veggies cleanse, so we were stocking up on fruits & veggies. I wont lie, I didn't pull through on the cleanse. It's really hard to do something like that when you are not home! But, I did succeed in buying lots of healthy stuff. Step 1, right? Anyway, that night Lee Ann made chicken for the guys & was nice enough to also make fish so me & her could eat that. It was delish! Then I got on the elliptical again. This time I put it on the fat burning setting, and it totally kicked my butt!! In a good way, yes..but I was so sore the next day I didn't get to go on the walk her & I planned. Then we headed over to Matt & Elicia's for the night. It was hard not to eat the yummy nachos everyone was snacking on, but I stuck to my guns & ate a few Special K chip things. They're not bad. Though they have the texture of a rice cake! ha! The next day I was even more proud when Richard had me get him Burger King & I didn't eat any of it!! Okay, that's a lie, I took a baby bite from one of the burgers E was eating, but that was it! And it didn't even taste that good, I felt like I was eating garbage! I was more proud that I didn't eat the fries. Those are my weakness. Also, I didn't have any soda! Usually when we go to Safford I eat nothing but fast food. The only "fast food" I had was Subway!
 When we got home I had to jump on the scale because I wanted to see if I made any progress from eating right & kicking my own ass on the elliptical....and I DID! I lost 3 pound over the weekend! I know, I know...3 pounds is nothing, but it IS a start! And I proved to myself that even when I'm not at home I can still make healthy choices. I'm kind of proud of myself. I probably shouldn't be bragging, because I'm sure I could easily put those 3 pounds back on, but I look at it as more motivation to keep losing!

Christmas & Such

Christmas was wonderful! We spent Christmas Eve at Richard's parent's, and his grandma & grandpa got to be there, they came down for about a week, so it was great to have so much family around. We had a blast there, like we always do. Aubry thought everything was about her. Which really it was! ;) Christmas was so fun with her this year. As she was opening her presents she would get SO excited, before she could even see what it was! She would be saying "oh wow!!!". She's a crack up. A few days before Christmas was Jeff's(Richard's step-dad) birthday, so we went down for that as well. THAT was a blast too! He turned 50, so we all poked fun at him a little. He was a good sport. Aubry thought it was her birthday. We gave Aubry her power wheels jeep a few days before Christmas as well (I'm kind of going backwards here), since we were going ot be in Safford we didn't think we would have room to bring it back with all of the other stuff, but since it was her biggest gift we didn't want to give it to her late. She was SUPER excited about that! She loves it. Which makes me & Richard both very happy.

Christmas Day we spent at my mom's. Me & Aubry were the first ones up, so we had to wake up Richard & mom so she could open gifts. I love Christmas! And it is so much fun now with a little one! Todd called to tell us Merry Christmas I guess around 10 or 11, and he also told me, and only me, that they were going to be heading to mom's in about an hour! I haven't spent a Christmas with Todd, Jess & the boys in SO long! I almost cried when he told me!! Then I called my wonderful sister, Eve to tell her merry Christmas & she put my niece Layla on the phone so she could tell me all of the things Santa brought her. When she was getting off the phone she told me she loved me & Merry Christmas, then she said "wait wait wait...I love Aubry too!!!" & needless to say...I LOST IT!!! I started bawling like a little kid!! I don't even know what happened. I'm almost crying writting about it. I miss them SO much, and I can't believe how big my niece & nephews are getting & I never get to see them. We are planning a trip out there in October, though. =D Well, then we headed over to my dad's which is always awkward. Not because I don't love them more than anything, but because things are complicated with our relationship & the relationship I have with Evan & Kathryn. They were there, of course. But Christmas is about family, so we all got along really well. Aubry had a blast playing with her cousins, and it was a good time. Then it was back to mom's because Todd & Jess were there!!! I was really nervous about how the whole thing would play out, because Evan & Kathryn said they would be right behind us, & none of them have seen or talked to each other in quite a while. It went really really good though. It actually really made my heart hurt that day just knowing that our family will only be together like that on holidays, and only because we have to deal with each other. I don't like it. But things happen, and people do & say really stupid things...and well, relationships get ruined. Anyway, over all it was a wonderful holiday! I am extremely blessed to have my family! I love them all!
 I got to go have dinner with my best friend from high school, Stephanie, while we were down! I can't even tell you how amazing it was to see her!!! I don't think I have seen her since my wedding! So over a freakin' year!! How does that happen!? It was so great to just get together like old times & gossip, of course! ;) Seeing her also really inspired me to get into shape this year & get fit. Of course I was already planning to make that my new years resolution, and I was really, really set on it. But seeing her kicked it up a notch. She's such an awesome person. I know, I say that a lot. It must be true!!! So, fir the passed 4 days I have not had any soda, I have been drinking lots & lots of water, eating more healthy, and working out at home every night. We went & signed up for the gym today, but since it's free & through Richard's work, you have to do an hour long walk through & all this stupid stuff. So we go back Friday to do that. Then we will be good to go! I can't wait to get back in the gym! It was been WAY too long! They even have a childcare center there where they will watch your kids for up to 2 hours while you work out. FREE!!! How awesome is that?! I can't wait! I have never, ever been this motivated to get in shape! That's part of the reason why I know 2012 will be an amazing year, and it will be the year I get in the best shape of my life!

Update

I told everyone I would give them an update when I got my results back, & this is the easier way to do it rather than text & call everyone. Plu sit gives me a chance to write/type a little.
  Aubry & I were off to Safford again today. She thinks it was just so she could go spend time with grandma, but really it was because I had my follow up appointment. I didn't expect my biopsy results to be back quite yet, since they took almost 2 weeks for my pap results, and the holidays just passed. But, they were in! They came back negitive, which is awesome! I was all worried for nothing at all. What can I say? I'm a little crazy. I go back in 6 months to make sure everything still looks good.
 As for my pains, he did another ultrasound, & this time he could see a functional cyst on my right ovary. Which is what I thought I had from the begining. It is something that will go away on it's own, and really isn't that big of a deal. He gave me some IBU 800 for the pain, and sent me on my way. I wish he would have been able to see the cyst on the first ultrasound he did, so that I would have known back then what was happening with my body. But I really can not complain. Things turned out great today, and I was very happy leaving that office! I had a total attitude change from when I walked it. Usually it's the opposite. So it was nice. I am just relieved & happy to finally know what is causing all this pain I've been having. Hopefully the cyst goes away soon, and I can go back to feeling fine, and doing what I want! I feel like I was stressing out about nothing. But it is always scary when something is going on with your body that you can not explain. I had no idea what was going on, now that I do, I feel better. The pain is obviously still there, but now at least I know what it is from. I was scared about the biopsy because I have seen my best friend go through some pretty scary stuff, and while I would take all of her pain & problems & have them for my own if I could, it was scary to know what some of the bad results could come back as. Like I said in my last post, she is amazing! I love her!
 Richard seems relieved to know what is going on now, too. He is also amazing. I am just blessed with awesome people in my life! 

I know I am blessed

So in my last post I was talking about the pains I have been having. I went to the doctor for an ultrasound & he said everything looked great, my IUD had not moved at all since he put it in 2 years ago, and everything else looked completely normal. What he said was "Well the good news is I don't see anything wrong, but the bad news is I don't see anything wrong" pretty much because the pain has to be coming from some where, right? During my exam my bladder was a littler tender, so he gave me an antibiotic in case I was getting a bladder infection.
 Well then we headed up to Phoenix to my amazing brother's house. I can't tell you how much I love him & his little family. His wife is awesome, and his boys amaze me. I LOVE those kids!!! They are growing up way, way too fast, which only makes me realize Aubry will be that age before I know it. We took Richard's jeep up to trade with a guy, well that fell through, so then we had another guy who seemed SO interested & like he really, really wanted it, he said he just didn't get to the bank it time that day so he would call first thing in the morning. Well needless to say, he never called. Richard didn't want to drive that thing all the way home, it's completely open, no doors, no top..nothing. And we might live in Arizona, but it is flippin cold riding around in that thing in the winter! So, Todd & Jess got in touch with a friend & he let us keep it at his house. Of course, that didn't last too long before Richard found someone to trade with. So now we have ANOTHER 79 Ford pick up sitting outside our house. Whatever makes him happy. Plus, he looks pretty sexy driving those old trucks around. ;) While we were still at Todd's our neighbor called to tell us our small chihuahua got in our back yard with our dogo argentino & our mastiff. Well, the mastiff attacked him. Splinter(the chihuahua) is about the size of Jack's head, as you probably guessed, he's the mastiff. He tore him up pretty good, and thank God for good neighbors, because if ours hadn't jumped the fence & stopped it, Jack would have killed him. He was in pretty rough shape. He is looking a whole lot better today, but he has a really big gash on his side, and lots of puncture wounds from Jack's teeth. So of course we were bummed out that we couldn't be here to be with him. But soo thankful for our neighbor. He took him in for us, & even drove him to the vet the next morning. Where a friend of ours works, and we are also extremely thankful for that, because she was able to help us out with the bill & letting me know how he was doing the entire time. And now we have to get rid of Jack. He has never been agressive at all, so it's hard for me to even picture him doing that, but we can't have him around Aubry if he is going to act that way. The good news about that whole trip, besides the fact that we got to spend time with some of our favorite people, is that we took Aubry for a check up on her hips, and everything looks GREAT!!! We don't have to take her back for another six months! We couldn't be more happy!!! After her appointment we took her to Bass Pro to meet Santa for the first time. She did pretty good. She was pretty nervous when Richard went to hand her to him, but then he pulled out a little candy cane & she went right to him! Haha! The Santa there looked the part perfectly, but he didn't play it very well. He didn't talk or anything, just sat there smiling. It was rather awkward. Aubry liked it, and we got a pretty good picture to show her in the future, so that's all that matters. Plus she loves Bass Pro, so she had a blast for the rest of the time we were in there.

While we were at Todd's I also got a call from my doctor about my pap results.Well, I missed the call actually. I've been really worried since I've been having these pains. And I knew as soon as I saw I had a missed call from them that they were going to say it was abnormal. So I waited until after their lunch break was over & called back.The results came back abnormal, and the doctor wanted me to go in for a colposcopy. I had never had one of those done before, so I asked the girl on the phone about it, and she did really well at explaining it. Of course I was scared for them to tell me something was abnormal, so I went to tell Richard. Let me tell you, I have always known that I married the perfect person for me. He is my best friend, and he is always there for me, and I have no clue what I would do without him. All I had to do was tell him what they said & without another word he took me in his arms & just let me cry. I know, I probably seem like a drama queen at this point, but I was scared, so be it. So yesterday was the day for the colposcopy. I drove down to Safford, took Aubry to spend some time with her awesome aunties Katie & Kyla, and off I went. It was pretty awkward. And it only hurt a little when he took the samples for biopsies. However, I am STILL having these stupid pains, they are actually just getting worse. So now I have to go back in a week for yet another ultrasound. Blah! When I text Richard to let him know I was all done with the appointment (he was at work or he would have been there with me) he called me right away to ask me how I was feeling & what the doctor said etc. He is amazing. I seriously do not know what I would do without him. After having a some what emotionally draining day, it was wonderful to go pick up my beautiful little girl & have her come running to me yelling "mama! mama! mama!" & giving me the biggest hug ever!! Followed with an "I luuuuuuuhhhhh you!!!!" <3

Through this whole thing of me having pains, and feeling scared, my best friend Stephanie has been there for me to talk to about things and vent to, and also explain things because she has been through it all before. She is also amazing. Not only is she always there for me no matter what, and always has been, she is going through some pretty major stuff herself, and she is so strong & just....well, awesome!! She is an absolutely amazing person & I am so thankful to have her in my life. Of course my family has been there for me to talk to as well, and I couldn't ask for more awesome people in my life. I just feel extremely blessed to have these people in my life. Each and every one of them. Especially Richard and Aubry. They are my everything, and I absolutely could not imagine life without them. Richard has been there for me for so many different things, I have always known I could turn to him, even before we were dating. He has such a huge heart, and while I always knew it belonged to me, and so did he, it took us a while to get there. But it was so worth it. I am so blessed to get to spend the rest of my life with this amazing man who understands me in a way that no one else does. And we created this amazing little person who has changed our lives forever, and brought us closer in so many ways. I may have had a few rough days, and I know I will have more to come, but I am so thankful I have these amazing people to go through life with.

Sometimes being a girl stinks!

For about the past week I have been having these pretty bad pains in my lower right abdomen. I've kind of had them on & off since I got an IUD after having Aubry, but nothing like this. I went for a little check up, you know, the ones all of us girls LOVE...NOT! It's always super awkward & extremely uncomfortable if you ask me. Anyway, that's when it started really hurting. I usually have some cramping after those kind of things, so I didn't think much of it..until it wouldn't go away. So of course, me being the smart person that I am(cough cough), decided to google it. I should never, ever, EVER do that. Because I some how always manage to find the worst answers out there. Anyway, after talking to my awesome best friend, Stephanie, I came to the conclusion that I have an ovarian cyst. They're pretty common with an IUD from what I understand, and the symptoms I have seem about right. All of this isn't really a big deal, the part I'm mad about is that I finally, after weeks of not having any motivation what so ever to work out, have that motivation I've been wanting...but every time I try to do it...I feel like some thing is stabbing me in the ovary! It's so annoying! Now, I know people have way bigger problems than this, my best friend, for instance. But I needed to vent, and that's what I'm doing. While Richard listens to me & talks to me about it, I am sure he is tired of hearing about it by now, so I decided to share with whoever will read this. Or maybe no one will read it, and I will just feel better for getting it off my chest. I made an appointment to go see my doctor on Friday, bright & early. So then I will know what is wrong for sure, and get some advice on what to do!

Montana

Let me just start this post by saying that I am SO thankful for Richard's awesome work schedule because it lets us have long family vacations, with him really only taking 7 days off of work. Giving us a total of 21 days of vacation! It's amazing!

Montana was awesome. We had so much fun. The drive there wasn't too exciting, we left pretty early & switched back & forth, we were on the road for 24 hours straight. It was worth it once we got there, but we were both really exhausted, & Aubry was more than ready to get out of that jeep! Of course we stopped a lot, and we let her get out & run around. We stopped in Utah & found a park & let her run around for about an hour or so. She loved that. We always felt awful when we had to put her back in the jeep. We spent the first part of our vacation in Forsyth with Gary & Cora (Richard's mom's dad & step-mom). Lee & Rose also live in Forsyth & so do Jay & his girlfriend Tracey. It was a lot of fun. We spent the first few days at Lee & Rose's house, & they are always a blast. Aubry loved Lee! She had so much fun playing with him. I think she had a little crush, haha! When we went to Gary & Cora's we went out looking at their property, mostly to scout for deer I think, but I had fun just looking at the beautiful scenery. It really is beautiful out there. I couldn't believe how much property they had. Richard  & I went out one morning with his bow & tried to get him a buck, but it was a no go. It seemed like we were always just missing them. So he ended up going & getting it with Lee's gun. I was bummed that I wasn't there when he shot it ( I stayed at the house with Aubry),  and then I had to help cut up all the meat. And when I say help I mean Jay & Tracey helped get it off the bone, & then Cora & I cut it all up. So I told Richard I had to be there when he shot the next one or I wasn't helping at all. haha! The fun part is being there for the kill, not cutting up all the meat! YUCK!  Anyway, we went to Margot & Don's next. That's Lee Ann's mom & step-dad. And of course we had a blast there, too. It was so cold for the week we were there! BUURRR!!! But we did go out & I got to be there when Richard shot his next buck, thank you Margot for watching Aubry for me. It was so exciting. I had never been hunting before, and I actually hate guns, but it was a rush, I can only imagine how Richard felt. It made me want to actually hunt next year, until he had to gut it, then I changed my mind, really quick! haha! It was still a lot of fun & I think I will enjoy going with him for years to come.  

The trip home was a little better than the trip up. We got a late start, so we ended up stopping & getting a hotel. Then we got on the road bright & early the next morning, it was nice because then by the time we got to Colorado it was like the middle of the day. It was dark through Colorado on the way up & I was bummed because I love Colorado. It's beautiful there! We stopped at a little fishing place there & let Aubry run around, then not to long after that we hit snow & it was WAY to cold to let her out, so sad to say, she had to stay in the car for most of the way from Colorado. When we got to New Mexico it was dark, and we saw a TON of Elk!! I had never seen a live elk before, so it was exciting just to see 1, but I don't even know how many we saw, well over 100. It was awesome. But also scary because they're huge, & it was dark & we were tired. But we made it home safe, so that's what matters. :) I'm still not very good at posting pictures on here at I write, so here are a few from our trip!