Not a good morning

So it has been a while since I posted anything about my girly issues. I had a pap done about a week ago, and I didn't think it would come back as anything abnormal, since my biopsies came back negative. Well, I was wrong. I got a call this morning, I guess about an hour & a half ago. Dr H wants to do another colposcopy, because my pap came back with moderate to severe dysplasia. When I think dysplasia, I think of Aubry's hips, so it took me a second to register. My best friend has talked to me about this dysplasia before...so I went straight to panic mode. Probably more than need be, but I am a girl, and sometimes that happens. Of course Richard is working today, so I couldn't just fall into his arms...which I plan on doing the moment he gets home. First thing I did was text him, of course, then my best friend to ask her some questions. She is sleeping, because she works nights. I know she will text me or call me when she wakes up though. Then I talked to my sister for a while. She calmed me down. Which she always does. Sisters are awesome!! I guess what freaks me out the most is that not even 6 months ago my biopsy came back negative, and everything was fine. So how did it go from that to this in less than 6 months? It stresses me out. And scares me. And well, yeah, that's about it. All I know is I was having a perfectly happy morning with my little princess, and that phone call sent me into full on freak out mode. I don't usually cry in front of Aubry, but I couldn't help it. Of course I got on google, which never really helps anything. I did stay away from any forums talking about it, and went straight for medical pages just simply explaining what dysplasia is and what it means could happen. Which those pages aren't much better, if you ask me, but at least you don't have to read 100 people's horror stories. I also went and read my bestie's blog. Because, like I said, she has gone through all of the scary stuff. Her blog probably helped the most, because I understand what she is saying, and it refreshes my memory of when she was going through it and talking to me about it. 
  
 I guess I just needed to ramble on here since my 2 year old doesn't really understand when I try to tell her why mommy is acting like a babbling idiot today. And I don't have any adult interaction until about 6 when Richard gets home. I did call the doctor's office back and ask them to have Dr H call me personally, so I can ask him my questions and not be freaking out all weekend. So hopefully he calls back soon. Then I can calm down a little, and wait for next week's colposcopy. Richard has already promised to go with me to this one, which makes me feel a little better. The last one I was alone. I also wasn't as scared last time, though. I will keep everyone posted!